I spoke to a number of dating experts on the subject, and across the board they all echoed a similar sentiment: throwing a friend's ex into the dating mix can be a bloody disaster.
Friendships typically last a hell of a lot longer than romantic relationships, particularly 'potential' romantic relationships.
Because you think its worth it to pursue a relationship with his ex, its important to be honest with both yourself and your friend.
how to tell your best friend you're dating his ex
If nothing else, how the two of you met and your relationship story could make for a great wedding toast.
Before risking a friendship, figure out if the relationship is worth the drama that can potentially unfold.
Nana points to the story of her friend katie, a 27-year-old londoner who lost a friendship when an ex got involved.
how to tell your friend you're dating his ex
Star taylor swift recently revealed that she and her girlfriends don't mind if someone else in their "squad" dates one of their exes.
Tell him what his friendship means to you, suggests irene lacota, president of dating agency it's just lunch international.
Salkin, professional matchmaker and dating coach who actually often encourages setting people up with their friends exes if a person is not destined to be with someone, you should be happy to see that your friend has found happiness, even where you couldnt because you and your ex clearly werent right for one another.
With most situations, the decision thats right for you will depend on your personal relationships, morals, values and beliefs.
At the end of the day, dating a friend's ex is going to be tricky territory all around.
.According to fabrega, once you decide to proceed in getting closer to this person, try following these tips when having the conversation with your friend:Start with your intention.
You really consider your buddy a true friend, then clearly youve given this much thought prior to deciding to move forward.
You dont want to blindside your friend with a sudden relationship between you and his ex, but you should also remember that the decision is ultimately up to you.
While its best to approach your friend for a discussion prior to making a move or pursuing a relationship, kelman suggests that you dont need to get permission from your friend, either.
As the pal dating the ex, youre the first person responsible for maintaining the friendship so the burden of breaking the news is on you, and it must be done respectfully.
And keep in mind that your friend is most likely going to say 'go ahead', even if he doesn't mean it, she says.
My rule of thumb is that it's fine unless it is a very good friend.
It doesnt have to be an ask so much as a heads up to let them know your intentions.
Paper, it sounds like an absolutely horrendous idea, and something most good friends would try to avoid like the plague, notes michael valmont, a dating and social coach.
If you're swept up in love and you simply must date the ex of a close friend, experts recommend you sit your friend down.