You might feel like you and your older person are emotional equals, but again, age and gender differences create power imbalances, and those can be leveraged to pressure you into stuff, no matter how self-possessed you are.
Lot of older people select much younger partners because they themselves are insecurethey feel intimidated by women their own age, who arent as easily impressed as someone with a lot less experience might be.
Your natural answer might be the one i would have given when i was 15: because we are a perfect match and i am special and very mature.
Really common for older partners to pull the youre-so-young-and-i-know-so-much-better-than-you card about just about everything, from movies to politics to sex.
Not rise your voice to your parents or treat them with with an aggressive attitude.
Dont miss curfew and remember to let your parents know how grateful you are whenever they let you do something you want.
Less your potential boyfriend negatively interferes in your relationship with your parents, the more likely your parents will be convinced to let you have a relationship with him.
But maybe within it, youll find these points as useful as i would have at your age.
how to tell parents your dating an older man
Open up to your parents about what you feel for this guy during your initial conversation with them.
When you are ready to speak to your parents about possibly dating this guy, they will know who he is instead of him just being a stranger.
You cant tell me however that all these little twenty-something bunnies are in love with him, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with his money.
Speak as clearly as you can about how you want to date a guy older than you.
Overprotective parents may not give you what you want the first time around, but this doesnt mean you have to give up.
But if youre looking to get into one of these situations, im guessing you dont need to be told about the alluring/fun parts, and if youre writing to us about it, its clear that you are weighing your decision carefully, and not being passively swept away or coerced.
Follow through with any commitments you have made with them, and it will prove that you are capable of keeping an intelligent outlook throughout a relationship with an older guy.
It doesnt take much for someone older than you to make you feel babyish, and you might make choices that arent in your best interest just to re-establish the feeling that youre totally mature and that you two are peers.
how to tell parents you're dating an older man
Having such an extreme reaction will just show your parents that you are still immature.
For all the dangers that come with dating older people, there are upsidesobviously, or we wouldnt need to have had this lil talk.
They will either inform your other parent on their own, or their opinion could be the only one that matters to you.
.Well, as someone who not only has always been interested in older dudes, but has also dated quite a few of them, i have some things to say about your situation, question-askers.
Parts:proving yourself to your parentsadvocating for your potential boyfriendtalking with your parentscommunity q&a.
If youre unsure, a good rule of thumb is to draw the line at getting involved with anyone who is older than you by a quarter of the years youve been alive.
Especially when talking about you dating an older guy, dont hide the truth of your situation or over exaggerate for dramas sake.
Please keep the age of consent in mind before beginning a relationship with an older guy.
Am i that insecure about getting older that id really let something so trivial get to me?
I made my own decisions when i was 15, and i enjoyed the majority of the time i spent dating that 28-year-old as well as the older dudes who came after him.
Your siblings around may make you feel too vulnerable to honestly open up to your parents.
Unless it's just a fun, sexy, baggage-free throw-you-over-your-desk situation where nobody gets hurt at the end.
Next thing you know, he's your closest friend as well as your boyfriend which creates a co-dependent dynamic that's bad for any relationship.
Everyone knows a happy grown-up couple with a significant number of years between them, but the thing is this: those two people are adults, and when thats the case, how old you are in relation to your partner matters less.
. you have plenty of time to date people older than you, but not nearly as much to have a high-school romance.
While at first it might seem alluring to have a private romantic world with someone (and it is exciting in the beginning, i admit), your life is not a movie (sucks, i know).
Set up a time when you can hang out with your group of regular friends, and include your potential boyfriend.
No matter how special he insists you are, the chances are that he's been dating younger girls for years.
If your house is usually loud and busy, maybe go for a walk with your parents to talk about this sensitive topic.
Next time your parents let you stay out late with friends, show your gratitude by saying thank you and making sure they know that just because they let you stay out one night, it doesn't mean you expect them to give you a later curfew.
Let your parents know why you feel this relationship should move from platonic to romantic.
For me, it drives me crazy when i see an older man with a younger woman and here, im talking about older older and younger younger, like anything more than a fifteen-year split.
Remember that your parents are probably thinking about a thousand things at once and if either of them work, they won't have that much time on their hands.
Do however know exactly what started this whole seeing an older man with a younger woman gives me the heebie jeebies thing too.
Time behaves more peculiarly when youre younger because everything changes so quickly, so the distance between 16 and 21 is way bigger than the one between 23 and 28.
Group hang outs with your potential boyfriend will give your parents a chance to see you two interact without a label of boyfriend/girlfriend over your heads.
Is already difficult, so its easy to say dating becomes exceptionally harder when you add overprotective parents to the equation.
Your love interest isnt willing to respect the boundaries that you set on your sexual activity, thats their problem.
Older guys: everything you always wanted to know about them, and weren't at all afraid to ask.
Make sure everyone involved is allowed to express their needs, concerns, and issues dealing with you dating an older guy.
, heres where i bring up the big topic that drives the whole controversy surrounding this discussion, one which i would have rolled my eyes at when i was dating my 28-year-old, but which i now know is a valid line of thinking: if a person who is of legal drinking age or above makes a habit of courting people who are in high school, theres a good chance they might be a pedophile (or, if you want to be super technical, an ephobophile).
The more honest you are with your parents, the more likely they will trust you down the line.
You may have to deal with a few restrictions on your new relationship at the start.
If they are telling you why they dont want you to date an older guy, try your best to see where they are coming from.
They know how easy it is to screw with your brain, and that can have long-term effects, 99% of them negative.
If your date is older than you, this could definitely add some distress between you and your helicopter parents.
Said, when youre 17 or 18, its not really a big deal to hook up with someone whos just a few years older than you.
There are ways to convince your parents to let you date an older guy without lying or sneaking around.
Any good relationship, the people involved are treated with equal respect and value, and when someone is dismissing your thoughts because of your age, thats bullshit behavior because its rude, and because it can make you feel disrespected and chip away at your self-worth.
Of the most frequent just wondering questions we get here at rookie is some variation on the following: im a teenager and im thinking about dating/am intensely attracted to a person whos significantly older than me.