For example, one could have an explicit no come-ons rule combined with a way to register interest to the organizers, and again mutually inform any two-way matches.
Once nice thing about speed dating is that it gets all that out up front, and you get to meet a whole pile of people with the explicit intention of looking for dates.
, a lot of the stuff weve figured out could be adapted to kinky speed dating, like doing matching by sexuality.
If you want to skip the somewhat lengthy event report, head down to the speed dating and poly organizing section.
We had fifty people at the first poly speed dating event, and over ninety at the second.
Said, i think we might try a similar strategy where we break peoples dating list into two sheets and have them hand in the first at intermission.
The imbalance happens when the events are specifically about dating (the availables mixer, kinky speed dating) or physical interaction (cuddle parties or a sex party group started by a bi poly couple).
%d bloggers like this:This writeup started as a report on a poly speed dating event I have been helping to organize, and turned into a meditation on holding innovative poly events.
We ended up mostly matching groups with each other for the first speed dating night.
how to organize a speed dating night
Think theres a lack of dating events in the community, so even in a low-poly-population area, you might find that theres some interest in dating events.
Because this was poly speed dating, we also gave people the ability to date as a couple or group (say, as a triad).
Speed dating certainly doesnt work for everyone, but poly organizers should consider holding dating events in their area, preferably ones that somehow avoid the bad meat-market atmosphere that singles (availables?
Think this might be one area where poly speed dating differs from mainstream (monogamous heterosexual) speed dating.
And while not everyone at game night is poly, everyone who comes is made aware of polyvegas quickly, since i start every intro with my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my daughter, her husband, her boyfriend weve tried discussion groups, meetups, potlucks, etc but game night is the only really consistently successful event.
You collect each rounds slips, key in the data (or, if youre feeling really froggy, do this with a scanner with an adf, and barcodes for the dating unit codes and ovals for the answers :-), matching yes with yes or maybe, and depending on how that works out, possible maybe with maybe to fill in for people with too few matches.
Me an email at pepomint at gmail if you want to have a long conversation about holding a poly speed dating event.
First off, the organized polyamory community in our area has a lot of queer folks.
So we could do just-in-time scheduling, running the program after everyone was registered but before we started the speed dates.
how to arrange a speed dating event
Perhaps dating events would work out better if there were some mechanism so that women would not be cornered by men they did not like?
Basic premise of speed dating is that many people can gauge their level of attraction to someone within the first couple minutes of meeting them.
In austin, someone in the poly group did start an availables meeting and one of the kink groups did kinky speed dating for singles and couples.
Even without the dating bent, it can be quite difficult to break into the social poly scene as an outsider (especially a male outsider).
They know a lot of poly people, just through their friend network and dating network.
(though as it turns out, peoples dating age preferences turned out to be surprising more on this below.
) this puts a real damper on the event, since their primary purpose is actually to find dating partners.
This may lead to a less frequent speed dating schedule the first two events were about three months apart.
Ive been to mainstream speed dating events, and they tend to have a limit on how many matches you can make, so what happens is that matches are relatively uncommon rather than relatively common.
how to organise a speed dating night
Or perhaps everyone in san francisco is just so damn busy that a quick-and-dirty dating event has a broader appeal?
One of the pivotal east bay organizers was at the first event, and he said the same thing.
I think there was a general tendency to treat the speed dating registration much as one would the registration for a personals website.
, i think most people who go to poly events on a regular basis take this slow approach to dating.
Has been a dating and marriage practice for centuries, but American speed dating has been around since 1999, when a rabbi and his students put a turbo-style twist on the tradition of introducing Jewish singles.
I hold various events in the area, and the people at speed dating were mostly new faces.
This is a first: i have been bedeviled by absence of my own social cohort at the poly events i organize.
We have less than a hundred people at speed dating, which makes matching much harder.
Someone were to hold a poly speed dating event in the dc area, i would attend.
This article about organizing poly speed dating speaks of a computer program they wrote to match people up: the computer program would do a first .
It turns out, running poly speed dating takes more than one or even two people.
, most of the organizers are too busy in our own lives to date new people, through a combination of prior relationships, work, and family.
There have been a lot of requests for more time, or for a slow dating event variant.
Aimed for ten dating rounds, but as it turned out, we needed to put some people on more dates (up to fourteen) in order to get others to have a minimal number (say, six).
Unexpected success of poly speed dating has inspired me to reconsider how we hold poly events.
Speed dating pairs men and women up for quick dates that last from two to five minutes.
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They arent dating events, but if you come regularly for a while, youll start organically meeting poly people in the area.
Writeup started as a report on a poly speed dating event i have been helping to organize, and turned into a meditation on holding innovative poly events.
If you dont have 40-ish folks who would attend, maybe consider holding a dating event that isnt speed dating?
Holding a speed dating event where men only talked to women would be way too limiting for this crowd.
, if there are enough people in the area looking, maybe consider holding a dating event that is not speed dating?
Five dating rounds in, we decided that leaving no-shows in the rotation was a bad idea, so we recalculated a new set of eight rounds for the remainder.
This was a nice illustration of the power of being able to recalculate the dating schedule in minutes at the event.
Any case, we have identified a need for poly dating events, at least in the sf bay area.
Is important to remember that the speed dating rounds are mostly there to get people to the hey lets have coffee level, which means that most of the chemistry-building will actually happen (or not) after the event, and the dating rounds are really there for quick elimination of folks who definitely do not match.
Sense is that we hit a nerve with poly speed dating, evidenced by the large attendance by people who normally dont make it to poly events.
That and a scheduling snafu left guy/guy dating pretty much dead, which was sad.
This points to a need for a variety of poly dating events, since some people are not served by speed dating.
Computer program would do a first pass where it checked each particular dating unit (single, couple, group) versus every other dating unit to see if they were compatible.
Speed dating is kind of a headache, but an availables mixer would probably be easy to set up.
This sort of thing is generally put together by an individual, often a travel agent, who takes responsibility for reserving and selling a block of rooms on a traditional cruise ships; in exchange, the organizer gets his or her own cruise for free, and sometimes makes a profit.
We will be holding the next speed dating event in may, if things go as planned.
Another interesting development, the crowd that turned out for poly speed dating was not the same people who frequent poly community events in the area.
In the first round, people were pretty restrictive with their age range interest, i think more so than they are when dating in their social life.
If you want to participate in a future round, go to the poly speed dating website and email us using the link at the bottom to be put on our mailing list.